I promise I won’t go on a rant right now about our society and the sickness it propagates through standardized tests, fast food, prescription medication, video games, plastic, violence, complete and utter misrepresentation of healthy sexual expression…just to name a few. SO, I’ll just say this:
IF you and/or your children are unhappy but aren’t sure what to try next…take it on back to the basics ya’ll.
Go on Walks
Even if you find that your weekly grind doesn’t allow for much space. A walk around the block as a family after tea time calms the anxiety in us all and connects us to each other instead of the stress of our day. Find hiking trails, go to the beach, walk around the neighborhood, go on a bike ride, stretch, do yoga. Create opportunity to connect. Connection to nature, our bodies and each other allows us to make space for understanding and forgiveness.
Notice the little things
EVERY day your partner does something for you and/or for your children that is selfless and wonderful. Notice it, acknowledge it and be grateful. Model being grateful to your children. They see you…
Say YES
If your girlfriend calls and asks if your free to grab a coffee on your way to work because she found 30 extra minutes in her schedule…SAY YES. No, you don’t have time, no you aren’t free, but SAY YES anyway because she asked and she loves you and she gets it and you will feel restored and ready for another day.
Turn off the TV…better yet throw out the TV and MAKE STUFF.
I can’t stress this one enough. I know it seems like a sacrilege, I get it, I really do. I’ve watched more Law and Order than I care to admit. However, when we got rid of our TV we noticed a peace come over our evening activities. We play more music, make more art, build more tents, read more books and take a lot more deep breaths. ALL of these things help build foundational connectedness while fostering growth of Mind, Body and Spirit individually AND as a UNIT.
Cook for each other
Take time to make a healthy meal and fill it with love. Sit down to the table and eat this meal. Say some form of “grace” thanking the Universe, God, each other for your love and blessings. Gathering over a meal is a time honored way to join in communion with our loved ones and share our stories of the day. In other words, a way to tell each other YOU MATTER even though I’m busy.
UNPLUG
Just BEING seems so difficult these days. Honestly ask yourself when was the last time you spent 2 hours with your partner/children without checking your phone? I’m not sitting in judgement. I’m guilty. But that’s the beautiful part about admitting guilt, it’s then that we can grow and change and evolve. Admitting to something that makes us feel shameful and guilty can be so freeing because the admission lets us see a way out. We have to choose to be different. Choose to grow. Choose the hard thing.
Now, go love each other UP!! x
The Imperfect Therapist 
I so agree with you…homeschooling, unplugging, and no TV are some of the best things that have ever happened to us. You learn a lot when you are humbled into poverty…
No extra dollars means no fancy gadgets, or owning ones that are long past their expiration date, so unplugging whether we wanted to or not has slowly happened. It seems when we are plugged in now it’s so that we can stay connected…to check in with each other, laugh over a youtube video together, or share pictures we took that day with each other. Plugging in isn’t about stuff, we don’t have that luxury anymore, it has become about us and about need, rather than want. Does my daughter incessantly talk about all the cool things the latest PlayStation can do? Do I covet a phone that doesn’t have a cracked screen, outdated software, and a charging port that worked? Of course we do, but I’ve learned that even if you go kicking and screaming into change, the opportunity to grow and evolve can be just as profound.
Over three years ago we made the decision to do without satellite TV in order to keep our horses. Those horses are our “walks” and have kept us connected to each other, to nature, and to God. They have helped us survive major depression, delivered us from the stress of being boxed into a tiny house, and calmed the rage that is bound to pop up in a family consisting of one hormonal teen and a just as hormonal premenopausal mom. I can’t count the number of times I’ve thanked God for blessing us with those horses…can’t remember a single time I thanked Him for TV. I don’t miss it and I don’t think anymore about not having TV. Funny how something that seemed like a necessity, something one couldn’t live without, can become so utterly and completely forgotten. My teenager will complain occasionally, but she’s replaced her favorite TV shows and channels with anime. I have a 13 year old who is well on her way to speaking Japanese fluently, as she’ll watch the videos over and over, alternating between the original Japanese and English voice versions or choosing to watch the Japanese with English subtitles. Instead of dreaming about or watching the latest pop idol or boy band on TV, she’s dreaming about and preparing to live in Japan. That would also be one of the things both of us love about homeschooling…anime counts as school work!
Our educational system is suffocating the natural desire to learn right out of our children. I have my graduate degree and I believe education is important, but I’ve begun to question at what cost? Is the emphasis on “normalcy” and high grades worth all the depression and stress related disorders we see in children? Do the number of adults who wish they had “followed another path” and are sucked into a mire of regret and depression reflect shortcomings of our educational system? My daughter can speak Japanese, but she would be made to feel inferior at a school because she needs her fingers and a calculator to do even basic math. I would be shamed for not making her “try or work harder”, because I didn’t spend enough time with her on the subject, or horror of horrors because i really could care less if she does use her fingers and a calculator! I really don’t believe doing so puts her at any great handicap when it comes to living a healthy, happy, and productive life. The combination of Unschooling and Homeschooling philosophies are working for us. I’m envious of her desire to absorb with voracity that which truly interests her and am proud of her unique accomplishments.
Thank you Rita, thank you for this, for reminding me that our “alternative” ways really aren’t all that alternative. That we are not alone and that others share different thoughts, or at least question, how we “should be” living in this world. Thank you for reminding me that my own personal journey which dumped us in poverty’s lap has been a blessing in disguise as I will never settle for simply existing again.
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Just want to say I have been loving all these posts! Keep them coming ladies!
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